Quality time

How many times have we wondered about , the time not in quantity but in quality , because for us life is not mere sequence events , we can learn that from the fact that we remember only the abnormally lows and highs of our lives and so is our planning for the future . The time spent inside a box of 9 to 5 job , makes us wonder what life is really about ? What is our life outside our job , profile and resume?

Most of the working people just go out to have a drink, have dinner with friends, watch a movie, TV series or their smartphones. How much time does each of us spend in introspection which involves doing nothing just thinking about things alone? The most important question is can we spend time these days alone with our thoughts?

Quality time according to me is the time we spend which is free of distraction and doesn’t lead to the suppression of our feelings . There are so much unresolved feelings, emotions and conflicts that need addressing in our hearts and instead of spending time with ourselves alone to deal with it we stuff our minds and feelings with distractions . Quality time is a tool that enriches us, makes us feel free and helps in developing confidence that comes after knowing oneself. Nowadays even the thoughts of spending time alone with ourselves create a sense of insecurity among us and we constantly crave some physical existence around us so that we don’t feel alone. Quality time is about being unabashedly carefree about the way we treat ourselves . Its the feeling of accomplishment that arises when we don’t waste our time in pointless things and spend some time doing something meaningful.

One of the major impediment that has eaten our quality time is technology in the shape of mobile phones.

It is a widely accepted notion ,that constant staring and scrolling at our 5’5 inches of depression , has become an addiction and way to divert our thoughts , acting pseudo- therapeutic . In the name of technology we are being robbed of our thoughts and lives .

There are a lot of other things that we have forgotten mainly with the advent of different leisure objects. I remember the times when we had wired telephones that taught us patience and the art of waiting. We used to select a date, time and venue on the telephone and they would patiently wait for our friends to meet us, unlike these days when we get irritated or frustrated when we are asked to wait for our friends. I remember being stranded for hours on the road sometimes just observing people in my home city which now in hindsight was one of the best past times, I ever had . Reading as a habit has also declined tremendously among young adults. Our smartphones may be smart but the way we utilize them may not always be effective as we give it so much time it’s distressing. Libraries which were once the hub of interesting intellectual conversations among people that used to interact quietly over tea and snacks has slowly started diminishing. The chai stalls which were the classic place for people to discuss things like politics, religion, sports, and even sex are now slowly turning into huge coffee stores where tea is an option. Our mobile phones guarantee us the world , why not use it , to be better , rather than looking at others , let us make ourselves better , let us explore ourselves and ask our souls , what we really want .

Another serious problem that is existing , is our oblivious indulgence into our 9 to 5 jobs and mindless social media is the failure to develop opinions and viewpoints of our own. Earlier, we were informed via the newspaper that provided us with full information about any topic or issue. With the screens, we have become used to misreading or quick reading in apps which may not provide us with a whole picture, leading to the mammoth problem of fake news which is wreaking havoc, giving rise to yellow shirt movement in France recently , along with very severe effects seen around the world . It has become easy for us to adopt an opinion that is borrowed from social media or news channel which may not provide us with appropriate information. Even so blindly following , without our own inhibitions , yields to larger impacts on our democracy as a whole!

We need quick answers instead of labouring over the answers by reading and knowing about it first hand. Quality time gives us the option of forming our opinions with no bias but we rarely take time to search for information we just consume it as it comes. We have become too impatient to know things before assuming, presuming and judging a situation.

I am in no way saying that abandon all technology and mobile phones , it is not we vs the smart phones , it is has to be integrated in order to better our lives and not make us running in a round rat race , where we are constantly running and reaching no where !

Let us , at least once a week for an hour do something that doesn’t involve a screen. Here I am providing , few tips to sit back and let that shit go for once in a while.

• Go for a walk around and explore the surroundings.
• Spent time doing something you love , even watching a movie or reading a book , you bought and never opened it .
• Keep yourself updated, reading newspapers , magazines . For short cuts you can only read the editorials or specific portions , which interest us the most (obviously excluding page 3)
• Plan a no screen day when you don’t use your mobile phones for a day.
• Cultivate unique hobbies like writing about the people you met, stamp collection, coin collection, leaf, flowers, animals, etc.

Knowing about our environment is a very fun exercise and then you could happily feel accomplished that you discovered something that people hardly notice.

The point that I’m trying to make is that life’s full of mysteries and wonders that will elude us every time we fail to look beyond our screens. Quality time is about knowing yourself and concocting ideas that plague your mind every day. It’s about learning new things and taking a deep dive into the treasure chest of knowledge around us. It’s about the touch of people and the living things around us that deserve our attention. We are slowly becoming mindless wanderers who can’t think of anything with so much distraction around us. Let’s be old school for some time so that we learn that sometimes technology may help us reach a destination but in that journey, we are losing our own identities. Take a deep breath , and say with me , LET THAT SHIT GO!